oh sheesh i wanna go to bangkok. tho there's the riots. but i wanna go to bangkok.
and im not doing anyth now ANYWAY so i wanna go overseas. but i need $ so i shd work right?
either bangkok or like, flea markets in australia where they sell cheap cheap clothes and nonsense stuff like containers. im such a sucker for containers and tissue. i wanna go over the sea OVERSEAS hurrumph. i shd earn my own keeping so i shd have a job.

should i get a job/shouldnt i get a job.
two different qns with different implications. haha it just means different things okay think abt it.

i got stopped to do this survey interview thing, for prudential at eastpoint on monday, and i think i may have been the biggest disappointment for those surveyors HAHA. i mean, they were trying to find out HOW PEOPLE WERE EARNING $, WHAT THEYRE SPENDING ON AND THEIR RECREATIONAL ACTIVITIES DURING THE RECESSION.
hello. im not working im not schooling, so other than my courses i have nth else that i spend on and im not earning so they wasted 15mins talking to me i guess haha. and the guy i was talking to asked so many other qns not related to the topic okay i was quite scared.

i need a job can someone PLEASE push and force me to get a job cos i really am not doing much to help myself.

and i decided i want a filipino husband HAHAH hmmm so random.
ok maybe not but hmmm. i'll give it a thought haha.
i think im getting obsessed AGAIN with all things filipino. cos theres that show and all my dvds. to think it started in primary 6 and there were barely any filipinos around la NOW fast forward 7yrs theyre everywhere and i love it haha!got eyecandy all over.

i wanna learn tagalog. and when filipinos speak english its so nice.
okay okay stop.

ok thats it i wanna go to the phillipines hurrumph.

isnt it pweeeeeetyyyyyyy???

and this is just the beach(:


haha EH CHARRIE GUMMIE LILIN I AGREE WITH POLLY (read her blog) WE NEVER MEET UP ENOUGH LA :(
oh and yes edwin's more man.nvm we need more men in SG. wah today was DAMN FUN LA.

so long nvr do this kinda stuff with clique plus we saw edwin without hair awww nvm he had beanie but tdy was so fun pictures pretty please esp the production crew photos HAHA hmm. pictures!

anw if what i think is true hmm nvm dontcare everyone's equal mayb it was just the spur of the moment but it was kinda umm, tak adil to some of us but nvm yayness is what matters woohoo yay.

confessions of the unemployed and deprived of fun. eh tmr clique day right? can we pls pls pls cfm where we're meeting what time everyth PLEASEEEEE how come no one's replyinggg meeee?? haha ANW,

my parents were so funny. tdy is the 28th right earth day so we're supposed to off all the lights for an hr at 8.30pm. then my dad was like why shd he off the lights if he's gonna pay for the bills? (what kind of thinking is this right BUT my dad was joking la obviously.) then he said, today SG off the lights all the security guards stand by cos later there'll be robberies and all HAHAH ppl cant catch them easily. then my mum was like, finally a SHOPPING SPREE.
...
okay i know where i get my lameness and randomness from now.

and ive been doing quizzes on facebook for i dunno what reason la boredom probably, and i did these 2 age quizzes - WHAT'S YOUR TRUE AGE and WHAT'S YOUR ACTUAL AGE, which claims to rate ur age acc to social env educational factors (yeah right.) I ACTUALLY DID IT and they rated me 11 years old and 12 years old -.- the true age quiz was more of eating habits and illnesses but the actual age was like, environment. i mean, thankyou very much im very young but surely mayb not 11 or 12 yrs old?ok mayb. haha cant believe this stuff la acty NVM means they think im young thankyou (: or childish and immature. im barely outta primary school. HA.HA.

but their ratings uite consistent ar.

then tdy i had bellydancing agn and we stretched and stretchedddd i think im getting much much more flexible haha she uses jazz stretches thats what she says anw we did the shimmy snake arms shoulder rolls hip drops hip lifts forward/backward 8 while walking and on the spot and combi WAH that was funnn. BUT i think my hips are gonna be sore HAHA i used my hips too much alr. she said shimmy needs the TOING jelly shake aft the drop im thinking, i have no problem with that got too much jelly on me anyway HAHA. but it was funnn. and what happened to my nus yr 3 friend ar for aerobics she's missing! aiyoh later partner cardio i got no partner! haha i'll grab one of the ladies :P theyre nice la but got generation gap. and now when i stretch to 'open' my ribcage i realise they make the crack sound sometimes aiyooohhhh. my knees also. my friend has it too but her doctor said it's normal. i wonder how normal it can get haha hope everything's okay.oh and makeup class was funnn there's a vj girl in my class also but i think i didnt really notice her b4 in sch tho i found her familiar. anw prev lesson we did eye tape eyebrow shaping and eyebrow pencil. i didnt shave my eyebrows la duhh i dont even know for sure if it's permitted but i read around at the sites and they say we cld remove surrounding hair without altering the shape of the eyebrows ( can't shave/alter shape and redraw) need to ask some more.nxt wk we're gg on to colour palette and full face im excited ar. yea man.

and the class for elementary mandarin is FINALLY starting time for me to sign up!


I CAN'T WAIT FOR TMR! ecp 1.30pm (:
i like clique. aha i think no one reads this blog plus no one tags cos apparently u all cant see the tagboard but i can see it on my comp so im telling u all now,

USE MOZILLA FIREFOX AND U CAN SEE AND PLEASE TAG ME SO THAT I'D BE ENTERTAINED TO READ THEM AND NOT TURN BE TURNED OFF BY A BLANK BOARD ALL THE TIME ahahhahah that was a mouthful luckily im typing nvr waste my breath okay that was random i wish it was sunday lalalala (pop!) ahahah ive been thinking of that teletubby :( esp when im alone and have nth to do and i think of what cld have been or maybe, probably. (HAHA.)

i was done with my uni app on sat yest went to post the stuff THAN NOW I read i just got this email frm nus saying must write NAME & application number on the ppr I TELL U MY EYES ARENT FAILING ME YET they nvr say name u know they only say application number to be written! then i nvr write im soooooo sad.i just hope evrytg wld be ok then id be happy lalalala.

see this, it's my proof. i actually took a screenshot of it SMART RIGHT hehehe :


im sorry if there's a distinct unsettling of emotions in the post, i think its hormones HAHHAHAHAH hmmph.

i think the past 2 wks ive only been on the comp just to research uni stuff facebook kepo everywh do essays hope everyth turns out well cross stitch aerobics makeup class more aerobics and bellydancing!damn fun, but tiring ar. i had this bad bad whole body muscle pull since saturday and i only recovered tdy but its a cycle so the pain wld come agn soon, like tmr :( plus tmr im gg cycling im wondering if my side of the class can cfm if theyre free this sun, then can go ecp with them! charrie how they can anot? hahaha. i havent been out doing fun things with ppl my age ok for like 2 whole wks. so must go out. going to that sale that day WAS NOT COUNTED altho i had so much fun buying and buying tho my mum said it was gd :/
i managed to get a coat for $49 frm $149! and this sweater for $13! cool right?! all i need now is a ticket to london hmmmm. uni la uni sure got HAHAH. just now i got trackpants for $2 for my aerobics and dance omg gd deal la who wants to give u pants for $2?!

and i was at polly's blog i read abt doctors and alextan THEN she msgd me abt AWG hahaha sheesh polly gd timing! i think he's not bad ar but he doesnt look that angmohhhh. but so much better than thos doctors wear specs and slouch and look like they hadnt slept for 595456743237234 years.

which reminds me, im super free aft driving now and im super bored. unless ppl ask me out or i sign up for more classes im gonna turn into a potato and my brain isnt gonna get exercised, im thinking if i shd get a job. BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT
THERE'S A NEW FILIPINO SHOW ON TV THAT I CANNOT CANNOT MISS :( my filipino husband is acting in it how how hiw it just makes me soooo lazy to get a job. but this cant happen or else there wld be 'a lack of intellectual stimulation' and 'an inactive psychological development'. oh sheesh. a little less of a quarter life crisis. OHNO TMR IM GG CYCLING IM GONNA MISS MY HUSBAND ON TV NYEH NYEH TO THE MAX :(

lately ive been thinking abt how life in uni wld be like, fun strange culture shock? i think everything ar, like jc life blown 2 million times. then i rmb naf telling me that FASS and nus med share the same canteen HAHAH if i manage to enter i shall pull polly along can take her pick at which doctor she wants. then mayb i want one also HAHA hmm see first. then one by one i pull gummie charrie everyone sit in one corner and look at the doctors walk by.

that's us looking out for potential husbands:
(middle girl) "you can't have him he's mine!"

i think i need a dentist husband or sth i foresee my children having to wear braces. doctor also can la if theyre sick free treatment. or a financial planner so he can stop me from spending HAHA no i'll just tell him :

"YOUR MONEY IS MY MONEY MY MONEY IS MY MONEY"

no la, i wont be such a bad wife ok i'll share the bills too. like duhhh. haha housewives' holiday channel 8 9pm so funny maybe i can be a taitai but thatll be so boring.

ok im off to makeup class! ohh polly going yoga soon so fun!

TAG!
my mum and i made cupcakes yest! yummm. ok la she baked them while i was still asleep then when i woke up at 6am i helped to decorate and pipe them!






aha ive told myself to think abt the future and not care abt the past cos really, things happen for a reason and like what janice said, it may be a blessing in disguise. we were not meant to be doctors or lawyers but useful ppl who wld go out into the world stronger and much more equipped than those who have their lives specialised by only one trade. which wld benefit them la, but what if ure bored aft awhile?

i realise that NUS FASS wld prob give me that. so thats where im trying. anw their degrees are flexible, a spectrum of jobs.

i mean, no use dwelling on the past what. what has happened has happened u cant change anyth, just that i have to tell myself not to play too much, dont make the same mistakes and make sure i kick butt in uni (ha.ha.) no la. just be myself.and thatll be alright. move on think of the future dont think of anyth else dont care abt anyone else just focus on WHAT I WANT TO DO. like polly said, there are many 'hows' and 'what ifs', but aft awhile u do uni u realise that these grades dont matter, the degree matters. and ur job. we're not even earning a proper income now la pls. (ok fine im earning NO income hahahah!) just make sure u get into what u wanna do then its ok. so if the doctors and lawyers wanna do what theyre doing, gd for them.

and its kinda fun hearing abt what ppl wanna do now aft A's, the courses they wanna take kinda cool. im still kinda open to stuff but i think ive decided what i really really wanna do. and its nice knowing that some ppl alr kinda decided too. like, gummie wants nanyang biz (frm her blog! i thought u wanted psycho thats what u said the last time haha! go the seoul national U la i saw it looks nice!) charrie wants accounting polly wants econs or biz syaz wants southasian studies WHICH I THINK SHE SHD GO FOR SINCE SHE LIKE HISTORY SO MUCH plus focusing on one region wld give u a speciality instantly naf wants her chem bchem haha see. u come tgt to go different routes! i find that kinda amazing.

syaz made sense, A level results are just for the admission into uni (which is true). but it's just the thought abt doing better that pushes u to think liddat i guess. considering how i was doing in j2, i guess i appreciate what i got. vast vast vast improvement.

oh wait no my mum was cuter. she said that for girls it is impt to have a gd job and education and earn a sizeable income first. then find a husband who wld provide everything and be a tai tai HAHAHAH. ohgosh. i wonder who's my husband ar HAHAH nyeh.

so yest i went to nus/ntu tho i must say that nus has a stronger appeal to me than ntu or smu. this order: nus smu ntu. i think cos i plan not to take science, so the arts fac and how the env is there is what matters most. and i went there with syaz and we ended up with bani and asy! haha acty i havent seen them for so long, and acty i realised that i havent acty been out with them other than the very few times in lower sec. and i ENJOYED MYSELF ALOT yest tgt with the 3 of them (: and asyura was acty my pri sch mate la HMT class tgt some more haha.

talked abt stuff la more like discussing i guess,but what bani said abt sth really made me think.
she said sth abt everyone being hypocrites, just the extent that everyone is one varies. i think its true. cos u see, ure not exactly sure what the other person is really thinking he or she may be saying one thing but acty theyre thinking another. like, ure not being honest to urself or others by merely trying to make the other person happy or just to jaga the relationship etc etc. and i can see that ard me, not necc to me la but ppl tell me stories abt their problems, and now i really wonder what the other parties acty thought. hmmm. as ive said to many many MANY ppl, human nature is greed and human nature is to compare. naturally u'll compare urself to someone else and self-indulge in a little while if u find urself at the longer end of the stick. or u wld feel sorry for urself and feel like, damn bad and unsatisfied. self-pitying. unless u were born truly perfect, i think u cant help but to agree with me. it just depends, ppl who are fine wld do it for awhile and realise that theyre not being fair to the rest. evil ppl wld indulge all teh way and have no end to that self-indulging abyss HAHA.
im gonna bring this all the way thru life man, gd lesson learnt. cos i realised that u cant be a weakling and believe everyth u hear or see or got influenced by, love urself and then u'll find greater things that u can achieve. so lalalalalalalalala im so happy ive learnt sth. character building you know HAHHA.

OH and we saw naf's spidey at nus hehe syaz tell u alr anot?? wearing red :P

i got my licence woohoo. wah i must tell whole story. it was raining like mad i was walking thru water like flood just to get to the sch. shoes pants hair shirt all wet wahlao. i looked like i bathed la. thne with my umbrella walking in the rain i felt like some pitiful child with nowhere to go like drama liddat i almost cried ok cos it was my test then it had to rain. then i heard the horn honk nonstop then i turned to the car and i saw my driving instructor laughing at me in teh car la hahahah so funny. sheesh. he was nice he looked for me near the toilets where i was drying myself to give me last minute tips and all while i was all wet and he said not to worry cos the rain was a SHOWER OF BLESSING heh. i guess it was(: i realised that i wld kinda miss driving lessons u know, every lesson gossip talk abt american idol abt some famous ppl haha nvm. haha i think i must thank him agn ar. like thankyou x1927347727817675456786543! now driving's done im damn free i dunno what to do:( so anw the nice (but at first scary) tester didnt make me do U-TURN EMERGENCY BRAKE and SLOPE. thats alot he didnt make me do! BUT BUT BUT there was vertical parking parallel parking directional change S-course crank course and reaction and response.atfirst i thought he'd fail me ar for some dumb mistake i did which i totally regret til this day believe me. so dumb. he asked me to do #14 i was heading to #15, then when i wanted to enter the course i blocked the opposite direction HAHA. then he was like, "WHY YOU BLOCK THE CARS COMING THIS WAY?! FAIL. (if i heard correctly)" then i was like sorry x102134567898765432 and just tried my best to keep focused la. i thought he'd just make me turn back to teh carpark and let me accept my fate or sth but instead he asked me to do parallel parking so i guess he gave me a 2nd chance (: luckily my parking very nice all go in nvr knock down pole hit kerb whatever. if i did sth else wrong i'd fail for sure.
then we went outta the sch went one smallllllll round outside then went in back! ive nvr even seen teh test route that we took la i think he invented one there and then ohgosh i cant thank that tester enough. then some more it was RAINING LIKE MAD. LIKE MAD I TELL U. so i guess he was being quite partial to me la. so we went up and he smiled at me and i felt like he was a nice grandpa heehee. then he asked me if i thought someone who took the practical test first time wld pass then i said if the person got luck then pass la, quite sheepishly. then he smile some more! then he said what luck, the person must have the skill! then he smiled, then he said "pass(:" then he smiled then he showed me the result slip WOOHOO MAN I FELT LIKE HUGGING HIM BUT NO NO NO HAHHAHAHAHA. happy man.

sooooooooo i drove the family car today to pasir ris park yea man! the car so big i tried to rmb everyth he taught me all teh tips and all and i rmbd to accelerate when changing lanes! i think he can teach ar like very well. the other 2 also, their tips are gd la. haha hmmm. i think i like driving. it's like freedom.

i parked i there! but i realise that the car too front ar, only when i saw the picture :/

and i saw a car which had a whole line of carebears at their front windscreeeeen awwwwww i want! ok mayb not all la, a huge funshine bear to be my passenger at the back wld be enough ahah! and syaz said she wanted to treat me to yongtaufoo tho i think its kinda unneccesary then asy also no no no i cant let that happen. but it really made me sooooo happy haha.

i guess with greyclouds come sunshine! i mean, u have to pick urself up agn right? that constitutes a strong person. but anw it wasnt that bad la i guess i just wanted better. and one fine day i shall drive ppl ard haha i know the clique wants it hehe and id be glad to!

just trust me with ur lives HAHA.

:):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):) okay i just feel that i need to RELEASE EXPRESS MYSELF SOMEWHERE AND SINCE I THINK ITS KINDA USELESS ALR TO TALK TO ANYONE ELSE i decided to type it here. so very very sorry if what i say MAY hurt some ppl or what i dunno im typing as i think and i'll keep it raw and unedited.tho i dont think it wld hurt anyone la im just being my usual paranoid self. so bear with me.haha acty i dont think itll hurt anyone but me. i really dontcare anymore i need to GET THIS THING OFF MY CHEST. dont talk to me for 2 weeks or so cos i myself have my driving test to think abt anyway. accept my apologies. SO ANYWAY,

results.

i mean, ya la i dont think i did well at all like duh, who wld think u did well with my results. as in, i think it was HORRID. but my parents think i did well tho. i dunno. i dunno what to think anymore. ok la if i was being fair to myself mayb i did quite ok la i mean, subjects i failed this time i passed. and passed quite gd if u compare it to an S i might add haha .as in, like what ppl have been telling me MAYBE im comparing myself to others, but hello?! isnt that the whole point? u take the exact same paper for that subj and i knew that i was working damn hard for it but why does someone get an A and i get a B?oh mayb im just being sour or sth, but seriously. it's the NATIONAL EXAMS and it holds your fate. and im not talking abt some subj which im VERY VERY APPRECIATIVE that there was a B there, cos i used to get S for like, forever and then A's get B, tts ok. but my side of the class, u know which subj im ranting abt. oh and that subj which my favourite teacher teaches (haha.) i think i just had super high hopes. whoever who got A for those subj im talking abt, congrats.

but when u think abt it aft awhile your degree is what matters and mayb even the grades in uni. and your future job i guess. i mean, being a lawyer doesnt mean you wont get a lawsuit. or being a doctor doesnt necc mean that he'll earn bigger bucks than someone who eventually takes arts but ends up the president. i guess i just have to craft the future properly. and i have a plan in mind thankfully.

its the kinda subj where u have it in ur bones that ure alm alm certain or atleast confident that compared to the rest of the subj, these are the ones that are unlikely to disappoint you. but no, unfortunately. ohwells. aiyah its ok la. u worry too much white hair grow early aging bad bad. just let me (as someone kindly put it) mellow in self-pity for awhile. i need it.

my dad was like, "what can u do? An A cant turn into a B, a B wont turn into an A."
i unds the 2nd part, but not the first. i mean, why wld an A wanna turn into a B in the first place? but acty it made sense. if i wanted like, straight As then i shd have been working my butt off since J1. oh then he said, mayb ur B was a borderline B. ho ho ho, then i think i know which ones they are. if they were seriously those borderline cases ar, i feel like knocking myself hard if i found that out. like what i said yest,mayb they were sober when they marked our papers HAHA.

but nooo, honestly i think the whole of j2 i was playing ard thinking of that teletubby giving in to temptation staying back in sch WHEN I KNOW THAT I WOULD STUDY BETTER AT HOME WITH LESS DISTRACTIONS COS IM TALKING LESS and then giving the excuse that i waste the same amt of time, tho i think that part is true.but i wont say that nth went into my head when i studied in sch tho. but if i cld start agn, id go home straight everyday lock myself at home and throw the key til Alevels started. but you cant rewind time. what happened has happened, and by right, i shdnt have any regrets.
funny thing is, i knew that wasnt my study style at all, and i still went for it. what was i thinking?this isnt the first time im saying this, i knew that if there was anyth wrong with my studying last yr, a large portion of it is cos of this.

but then agn, a small thing in me did somehow tell me to think rationally. i mean i cant expect all As, that i know, but atleast sth i deserved. and honestly i think i deserve a higher grade for some. haha and mr ho was quite nice yest. he knew that i was always careless(: and yea, he was right abt thinking that i wld feel disappointed cos i really did those maths pprs like siao, and i was. but i think im able to accept what i got for maths considering i thought that it was horrid. but somehow i think theres sth screwed in the marking system HAHA. ppl who claimed it was horrid have As. ohwells, i dunno what they were telling me then.

oh and to all those ppl who shoved their results in my face and raved on abt how badly they did, pls find out how the person you were talking to was feeling first. #1 lesson to having a gd EQ in times like that. this incl those who smsed me their results ar sorry i didnt reply most of you. i mean, ya la i know that ure sad and all cos that isnt the grade u wanted and im sorry for u but u see, half of u alr probably did better than me or sth, how wld u feel if u were in my place, wldnt u be irritated too?just be happy that the rest of the subj can make up for whatever ok. seriously, i had like 10mins of disbelief with my own results cos i cldnt believe mrs mah said that they were not bad, cos they really were if u see how competitive courses are now, and i was already on the VERGE OF TEARS when u ppl went on and on. frequent trips to the row of tables behind where the teachers were giving the results out were to stabilise myself to talk to dunno who who kept calling and calling. seriously. only i know how many times ive cried since that time la sheesh. and dont try thinking im over reacting or sth, cos i bet u dont know my results. only my side of the class know them so far. plus my family.

ohwells. i shd bersyukur and redha with the results. alhamdullilah atleast i know can get into arts, or real estate or sth. haha soci or political science all the way! not like i was very very inclined on science or engineering or law or med or what. ok mayb law, but even then i knew that my results wldnt be able to make it la unless a miracle happened. but still, i know that i cld have done much much better for A's, alot more. this wasnt my best.

i have no one else to blame but me.
and also like polly said, i dont think they value-added us.

again im sorry if anyth upsets anyone.
but really, im the one in pain.
but i guess you have to take it one step at a time and slowly accept reality and recover frm it.
cos really, there is no one in this world who can help you, but you.
and i learnt not to listen and give in too much.
A levels werent bad aft all. but as i said, if i cld rewind time, id make sure i turn myself into a nerd.